DARVO

DARVO is an acronym that describes a common reaction pattern used by individuals—often abusers or perpetrators—when confronted with their harmful behavior. It stands for:

Deny

Attack

Reverse 

Victim and Offender

Here’s how it works:

Deny: The person denies the behavior occurred or refuses to take responsibility.

Attack: They then attack the person who confronted them—questioning their credibility, motives, or behavior.

Reverse Victim and Offender: Finally, they claim they are the true victim, flipping the narrative so the accuser seems like the wrongdoer.

DARVO is a manipulative defense mechanism and is often used to evade accountability while discrediting the victim.

Here are real-world examples of DARVO in different contexts, where someone denies wrongdoing, attacks the accuser, and reverses the victim and offender roles:

🔹 1. Domestic Abuse Situation

Context: A woman confronts her partner about physical or emotional abuse.

Deny: “I never hit you. You’re making things up.”

Attack: “You’re always trying to make me look bad. You’re the crazy one.”

Reverse: “You’re abusing me by constantly accusing me. I can’t live like this!”

Impact: The victim may begin to question their reality and feel guilty for speaking up.

🔹 2. Workplace Harassment

Context: An employee reports their manager for inappropriate comments.

Deny: “That’s not what I said. You misunderstood.”

Attack: “You’re too sensitive. You can’t handle a joke?”

Reverse: “You’re smearing my reputation. This is workplace harassment against me now.”

Impact: The employee may be silenced or face retaliation for reporting.

🔹 3. Public Figures or Celebrities

Context: A public figure is accused of misconduct (e.g., sexual harassment or racism).

Deny: “Those allegations are false and unfounded.”

Attack: “This is a political witch hunt. The media is corrupt.”

Reverse: “I’m being targeted and canceled. I’m the victim here.”

Impact: Shifts focus away from the actual harm and rallies public sympathy for the wrongdoer.

🔹 4. Parent-Child Relationship (Emotional Abuse)

Context: An adult child brings up a history of emotional neglect or manipulation.

Deny: “I was a great parent. You had everything.”

Attack: “You’re ungrateful and spoiled. I sacrificed everything for you.”

Reverse: “You’re hurting me now. How could you say such things to your mother?”

Impact: The child may feel shame or guilt for asserting their truth.

Websites and Articles:

  1. What is DARVO? Jennifer J. Freyd, PhD
  2. Explaining DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender – How abusers might use these strategies to blame the survivor By Amanda Kippert
  3. Center for Institutional Courage – “The Center for Institutional Courage™ – Courage – is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) institution dedicated to transformative research and education about institutional betrayal and how to counter it through institutional courage.”

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