Male Betrayed Partners

Breaking the Silence Around Betrayal Trauma in Men

When we talk about betrayal trauma, most resources focus on women as the wounded partner. But men also suffer deeply when betrayed by a partner’s porn use or sexual compulsivity. For male betrayed partners, the pain is real—yet often misunderstood, overlooked, or dismissed.

This page is for you.

You Are Not Alone

Whether your partner has been hiding pornography use, engaging in emotional or physical affairs, or battling sex addiction, your reaction is likely intense and disorienting:

• Shock and disbelief

• Rage, shame, or numbness

• A loss of identity, control, or confidence

• Anxiety, sleeplessness, and hypervigilance

• Deep questions about your masculinity, worth, and value

Many men wonder, “Am I overreacting?” or “Should I just get over it?” The answer is no. You’re not overreacting—you’re experiencing betrayal trauma.

What Is Betrayal Trauma?

Betrayal trauma occurs when someone you depend on for emotional safety, intimacy, or trust violates that bond. This trauma doesn’t discriminate by gender—it impacts the brain, body, and spirit.

• Male betrayed partners often face a double bind:

• You’re hurting, but culture tells you to “man up.”

• You feel alone, but few safe spaces exist for male vulnerability.

• You crave healing, but most resources are tailored for women.

Debunking the Myths

Let’s be clear:

• You are not weak for being affected by betrayal.

• You are not less of a man for feeling grief, confusion, or heartbreak.

• You are not responsible for your partner’s addiction or choices.

• Your reaction is not a flaw in your character. It is the normal response of a person who has been deeply wounded by someone they trusted.

🔹 Support Communities & Programs

1. Betrayal Trauma Recovery for Men – BTR – While originally focused on women, BTR offers a male support group called BTR for Men. Safe, facilitated virtual meetings for men dealing with betrayal trauma.

2. Betrayed Men’s Group – Daring Ventures – A support group for men who have experienced betrayal trauma due to a partner’s sex or porn addiction. Run by trauma-informed professionals.

3. Sex and Relationship Healing – Men’s Partner Support Groups – Offers free, peer-led and professional-led online support groups for male betrayed partners.

BOOKS:

1. A Man’s Guide to Partner Betrayal: Overcoming the Pain and Repercussions of a Cheating Partner by Adam B. Nisenson
2. A Man’s Guide: Trust After Partner Betrayal: A workbook for men to rebuild trust in themselves, in others, and in life after infidelity by Adam B. Nisenson
3. No Man’s Land: A Man’s Journal for Recovering from Partner Betrayal by Adam B. Nisenson
4. A Man’s Tools for Addressing Betrayal by Sibylle Georgianna 
5. Facing Heartbreak by Stefanie Carnes
6. The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst by by Michelle Mays LPC CSAT-S

Final Words

It takes strength to feel, courage to speak, and resilience to heal. You don’t have to carry this pain in silence, and you don’t have to pretend you’re unaffected.

If your world has been turned upside down by your partner’s betrayal, know this:

You matter. Your healing matters. And you deserve support that sees and honors your experience.