Sex Addict/CSBD Recovery

Compassionate, Structured Healing for a Complex Struggle

Understanding Sex Addiction & CSBD

Sexual addiction—also known as Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD)—is a condition in which individuals feel unable to control sexual thoughts or behaviors, despite negative consequences to their relationships, careers, or personal well-being. Whether it manifests through compulsive pornography use, affairs, excessive masturbation, or risky sexual behavior, the cycle of shame and secrecy can feel overwhelming.

If you’re struggling with these patterns or have recently had your behavior discovered, you’re not alone. Effective, compassionate help is available.

What Recovery Looks Like

Sex addiction recovery isn’t just about stopping the behavior—it’s about healing the underlying causes of the addiction, learning new ways to cope, and building a life rooted in honesty, connection, and self-respect.

Our approach to sex addiction recovery is trauma-informed, clinically grounded, and deeply supportive. We utilize the most respected models in the field, including:

Patrick Carnes’ 30 Tasks for Sex Addiction Recovery

Dr. Patrick Carnes, founder of the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), created the 30 Tasks as a roadmap for long-term, meaningful recovery from sex addiction. These tasks are structured to help individuals:

The 30 Tasks are typically worked through in therapy with a CSAT and/or in group therapy, and are supported by journaling, assignments, and personal reflection.

Tasks_of_-Sex_Addiction_Recovery_Carnes-pdfDownload

IITAP & the CSAT Model

The International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP) is the gold standard in training and certifying therapists to work with sex addiction, betrayal trauma, and co-occurring disorders.

CSATs (Certified Sex Addiction Therapists) are trained to:

CSAT therapy is especially effective for individuals seeking a comprehensive, clinically supported recovery process.

Partner Trauma Is Real – APSATS Support

Sexual betrayal is deeply traumatic for partners. The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS) offers a certified model focused on supporting partners using the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM). This model rejects outdated “co-addict” labels and instead honors the partner’s experience as real trauma.

Partner support may include:

We believe that both the addict and the partner deserve care, support, and tools to heal, whether they choose to stay together or not.

Common Areas Addressed in Recovery

Getting Started

If you’re wondering whether you have a problem, or you’ve recently experienced a major relational rupture, starting recovery can feel overwhelming. Here’s how we support you:

  1. Clinical Assessment
    Get a comprehensive understanding of your behaviors, triggers, and needs with a CSAT-trained therapist.
  2. Customized Treatment Plan
    Based on the 30 Tasks, your history, and your goals, we’ll help create a recovery plan that makes sense for you.
  3. Therapy & Group Support
    Join individual sessions and therapeutic groups that foster growth, empathy, and connection.
  4. Partner Support & Parallel Healing
    If applicable, we help your partner receive the care they need while you work on your recovery.
  5. Aftercare & Long-Term Planning
    We help you build a sustainable plan for sobriety, accountability, and relational health.

THREE CIRCLES TOOL

The Three Circles tool is a core concept in sex addiction recovery, particularly within 12-step recovery programs like Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA). Its purpose is to help individuals clearly define and maintain sexual sobriety by identifying behaviors to avoid, be cautious of, and cultivate for a healthy recovery. It offers structure, awareness, and accountability.

Here’s how it works:

🔴 Inner Circle (Bottom Line Behaviors)

Purpose: Defines what sobriety means for the individual.

These are the compulsive, addictive, or destructive sexual behaviors the person is committed to abstaining from—such as watching pornography, using sex workers, infidelity, compulsive masturbation, or other sexually self-destructive acts.
Engaging in any of these behaviors is considered a relapse.

🟡 Middle Circle (Boundary or Risk Behaviors)

Purpose: Increases awareness of slippery slopes and helps prevent relapse.

These are triggers, high-risk situations, or gray-area behaviors that may not be acting out yet but could lead there—like sexting, spending time alone on certain websites, isolating, or excessive fantasizing.
Monitoring these behaviors helps the person stay vigilant and intervene early.

🟢 Outer Circle (Top Line Behaviors)

Purpose: Encourages healthy, life-affirming alternatives to addiction.

These are the positive, recovery-supporting behaviors that foster connection, self-care, and emotional regulation—such as going to meetings, exercising, therapy, meditation, spending time with safe people, and pursuing hobbies.
These are acts of self-nurturing and living with integrity.

Why It’s Important:

This visual and practical tool makes the often-complicated terrain of sexual behavior more manageable and measurable, promoting long-term sobriety and growth.

A diagram showing three concentric circles labeled with activities, illustrating the Three Circles Practice for behavioral boundaries and self-care examples.
ChatGPT said:

An abstinence contract in sex addiction recovery serves as a foundational tool to help individuals clearly define and commit to their personal boundaries around sexual behavior. Its primary purpose is to provide structure, accountability, and clarity during the healing process.

Key Purposes of an Abstinence Contract:

  1. Establishes a Clear Definition of Sobriety
    In sex addiction recovery, sobriety isn’t one-size-fits-all. The abstinence contract outlines specific behaviors the individual agrees to abstain from (e.g., pornography use, affairs, anonymous sex), and may also include healthy sexual behaviors that are permitted, depending on the person’s goals and relationship status.
  2. Creates Accountability
    Sharing the contract with a therapist, sponsor, or support group provides external accountability. It becomes a reference point for measuring progress and identifying relapse.
  3. Supports Relapse Prevention
    By defining “bottom-line” behaviors (i.e., addictive or destructive actions), the contract helps individuals recognize when they are approaching or crossing a boundary. This can trigger early interventions before a full relapse occurs.
  4. Encourages Personal Responsibility
    Writing and signing a contract empowers individuals to take ownership of their recovery. It is a tangible expression of their commitment to change.
  5. Guides Treatment and Therapy
    Therapists and group facilitators use the contract to help tailor treatment goals, interventions, and discussions to the specific needs of the individual.
  6. Promotes Honesty and Integrity
    In recovery, honesty is key. The contract helps foster an environment of openness, especially in group or partner settings, where sharing one’s boundaries supports trust-building.

In Summary:

An abstinence contract is more than a list of “do’s and don’ts”—it’s a personalized recovery plan that helps individuals define sexual sobriety, stay accountable, and build a foundation for long-term healing and healthy intimacy.

abstinence-contract-protectedDownload

REACH OUT TO SUSAN ZOLA AT SUEZOLA@ME.COM FOR THE DOCUMENT PASSWORD TO THE ABSTINENCE CONTRACT DOCUMENT ABOVE

ACCOUNTABILITY CONTRACT

An accountability contract in sex addiction recovery is a written agreement that outlines how a person in recovery will stay transparent and responsible for their behaviors, thoughts, and commitments—especially regarding their recovery goals. Its core purpose is to build trust, promote honesty, and create a consistent system of support during the healing process.

Purpose of an Accountability Contract in Sex Addiction Recovery:

  1. Fosters Transparency and Honesty
    Accountability is about being open about your thoughts, feelings, and actions—especially when you’re struggling. The contract encourages regular check-ins with trusted individuals (such as sponsors, therapists, or accountability partners), creating a culture of honesty.
  2. Strengthens Support Systems
    Recovery is not meant to be done alone. This contract defines who the person will be accountable to, how often they will check in, and what they will report (e.g., slips, triggers, urges, successes).
  3. Helps Prevent Relapse
    Knowing you must report behaviors or struggles can act as a deterrent to acting out. It also allows for early intervention when someone is headed toward risky territory, often called the “middle circle” in the Three Circles model.
  4. Reinforces Daily Recovery Habits
    Accountability contracts may include commitments such as attending meetings, journaling, engaging in healthy sexuality or self-care practices, or completing therapeutic assignments—all of which help sustain long-term sobriety.
  5. Promotes Integrity and Responsibility
    Recovery is a personal journey, but the contract encourages ownership over choices. It helps individuals take their healing seriously by committing to regular communication and follow-through.
  6. Builds Trust in Relationships
    For those in partnered relationships, accountability contracts (sometimes shared with a partner, when clinically appropriate) help rebuild broken trust by showing commitment to change and transparency.

In Summary:

An accountability contract is a proactive recovery tool designed to keep the individual engaged, supported, and responsible. It encourages transparency, provides structured support, and creates a clear framework for living in alignment with recovery goals. It’s a vital part of creating lasting behavioral change and healing trust—in oneself and with others.

Accountability-contract-1Download

Take the First Step

You don’t have to continue living in secrecy, chaos, or despair. Recovery is possible. Healing happens in community—with structure, safety, and the right kind of support.