What is Sexual Anorexia?

Sexual anorexia, also known as sexual anorexia nervosa or sexual anorexia disorder, is a term that has been used to describe a pattern of behavior in which individuals have an extreme fear or aversion to sexual activity, intimacy, or sexual relationships. It is not an officially recognized diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) or other widely accepted diagnostic manuals. However, some therapists and clinicians have used the term to describe a range of symptoms and behaviors related to an individual’s avoidance or suppression of their sexual desires and needs.

Common characteristics or behaviors associated with sexual anorexia may include:

• Avoidance of sexual activity: Individuals with sexual anorexia often go to great lengths to avoid sexual situations or may engage in sexual activity very infrequently or reluctantly.
• Fear or anxiety related to sex: They may experience significant anxiety, guilt, or shame related to sexual thoughts, desires, or actions.
• Negative body image: A poor self-image, dissatisfaction with one’s body, or shame about physical appearance can contribute to sexual avoidance.
• Relationship difficulties: Sexual anorexia can strain relationships, as partners may feel neglected, rejected, or unfulfilled.
• Strict sexual rules: Individuals with this condition may have rigid beliefs or rules about what is considered “acceptable” sexual behavior, leading to self-imposed restrictions.
• Low libido: They may have a diminished or absent sexual desire, which can be distressing for both the individual and their partner.

It’s important to note that sexual anorexia is a term that has been used by some therapists and authors but is not officially recognized as a mental health diagnosis in mainstream psychiatric or psychological literature. Some mental health professionals may use it to describe a specific cluster of symptoms or behaviors within the context of broader issues related to sexuality, intimacy, and relationships.

What are the symptoms of sexual anorexia? 

• Avoidance of Sexual Activity: Individuals with sexual anorexia often go to great lengths to avoid engaging in sexual activities. They may actively resist or reject sexual advances from their partner.
• Fear or Anxiety Related to Sex: A significant amount of anxiety, guilt, or shame may be associated with sexual thoughts, desires, or actions. This fear can make it difficult to engage in or enjoy sexual experiences.
• Negative Body Image: Poor self-image, dissatisfaction with one’s body, or shame related to physical appearance can contribute to sexual avoidance. A person may feel uncomfortable or unattractive in sexual situations.
• Relationship Difficulties: Sexual anorexia can strain relationships, as partners may feel neglected, rejected, or unfulfilled. This can lead to conflicts and emotional distance.
• Strict Sexual Rules: Individuals with sexual anorexia may have rigid beliefs or rules about what is considered “acceptable” sexual behavior. They may impose strict limitations on themselves or their partners, making it challenging to have a satisfying sexual relationship.
• Low Libido: A diminished or absent sexual desire is a common symptom of sexual anorexia. Individuals may have little interest in sex and may actively suppress or deny their sexual desires.
• Avoidance of Intimacy: Beyond just sexual activity, some individuals with sexual anorexia may also avoid emotional intimacy and closeness in relationships.
• Depression and Anxiety: The distress and emotional turmoil associated with sexual anorexia can lead to symptoms of depression and anxiety.
• Isolation: Some individuals with sexual anorexia may withdraw from social and romantic relationships to avoid situations that trigger their anxieties or fears.

What is Emotional Anorexia? 

“Emotional anorexia” is not a recognized clinical diagnosis in mainstream psychiatry or psychology, and it is not included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) or other widely accepted diagnostic manuals. The term is sometimes used informally or in self-help literature to describe a pattern of behavior in which individuals restrict or suppress their emotions, similar to how anorexia nervosa involves restriction of food intake.

In this context, “emotional anorexia” may refer to the following patterns of behavior or emotional experiences:

• Emotional Suppression: People with emotional anorexia may have difficulty expressing their feelings, whether positive or negative. They may consciously or unconsciously suppress their emotions, leading to a sense of emotional emptiness.
• Fear of Vulnerability: Like how individuals with anorexia nervosa fear gaining weight, those with emotional anorexia might fear being emotionally vulnerable or opening up to others. This can result in difficulties with forming close and meaningful relationships.
• Perfectionism: Individuals with emotional anorexia may hold themselves to high standards and feel that they must always appear strong and composed, even when experiencing emotional turmoil.
• Difficulty Identifying Emotions: Some people may struggle to identify and label their emotions accurately, which can hinder their ability to communicate their feelings effectively.
• Emotional Avoidance: Emotional anorexia may involve avoiding situations or people that trigger strong emotions, leading to social isolation.
• Physical Symptoms: Just as anorexia nervosa can have physical consequences, emotional suppression can impact mental and physical well-being, potentially leading to symptoms like anxiety, depression, or somatic complaints.

It’s important to note that while “emotional anorexia” is a term that some people use to describe these patterns of emotional suppression, it is not a recognized mental health disorder. If you or someone you know is struggling with emotional difficulties, it’s advisable to seek help from a mental health professional who can provide a proper assessment and appropriate interventions to address emotional challenges. Therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can be helpful for individuals dealing with emotional regulation issues.

Resources on Intimacy and Emotional Anorexia 

Websites:

1. Intimacy Anorexia by Dr. Doug Weiss 
2. Healing Abandonment with Susan Anderson – Emotional Anorexia and Abandonment 
3. First Things First . org – WHAT IS INTIMACY ANOREXIA AND HOW TO HANDLE IT IN MARRIAGE
4. S.L.A.A. – Anorexia -Sexual, Social, Emotional
5. Brazen Women – What is Emotional Anorexia and How Do You Know if You Have it? 
6. Center for Healthy Sex – Sexual Anorexia And Sexual Aversion
7. S.LA.A. – Sexual Anorexia
8. SAA – INTIMACY AND SEXUAL AVOIDANCE
9. HealthySex.com – An educational website dedicated to promoting love-based, healthy sexualilty.

Articles and Publications:

Books:

1. Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-Hatred by Dr. Patrick Carnes
2. Intimacy Anorexia: The Book by Douglas Weiss, Ph.D
3. Intimacy Anorexia and Pornography Addiction And How I Stayed Married: Through The Eye Of A Needle To Save My Marriage by Jill Jameson

Podcasts:

1. The Stressless Eating Podcast with Leanne Ellington – S02E05: The Truth About “ Emotional Anorexia” and Knowing Your Value ( With Kate Mansfield) – “Have you ever heard of ‘Emotional Anorexia’? Well yes – it’s a ‘thing’! Just like the food version –- you can have ‘Emotional Anorexia’, and it’s a lot more common than you think. Not only is it super-common, but it can be really UNhealthy for your mind, your body, your heart, your soul, and yes….your relationship with food. On today’s episode of the Podcast, I’ve invited one of my besties and the UK’s leading dating coach to have a chat about how it impacts you and how you value yourself (and trust me, it’s not what you think!) If you’re stuck in a pattern of avoidance, procrastination, numbing out, soothing, or avoiding your life (or parts of your life), these might be symptoms of ‘Emotional Anorexia’. And that’s why we decided to shed some light on this rarely-talked-about (and highly avoided) subject on this episode of the Stressless Eating Podcast.”
2. Impactus Podcast – Intimacy Anorexia with Dr. Douglas Weiss – You’ve heard of someone having anorexia, but have you ever heard of intimacy anorexia? Our guest for this edition of the podcast is Dr. Douglas Weiss from Heart to Heart Counseling in Colorado Springs. We will be exploring the topic of intimacy anorexia and how it results in relationships that are marked by pain and loneliness.
3. The Living Truth Podcast – Freedom From Unwanted Sexual Behavior, Hope & Healing For the Betrayed – Intimacy Anorexia with Janice Caudill – Intimacy Anorexia (IA) is the deliberate withholding of emotional, sexual, and/or spiritual intimacy from one’s partner. This deeply painful condition within a marriage is not uncommon but rarely correctly diagnosed as IA is a newly recognized condition that many people helpers don’t yet recognize.. Join Kristin as she interviews Dr. Janice Caudill whose expertise is in working with sexual addiction, partner trauma, and Intimacy Anorexia. Even through the devastation of these three issues there IS hope to overcome and heal! The Living Truth Podcast is conversations that shed light on the deeper issues beneath porn addiction, sex addiction, & help for those enduring the devastation of sexual betrayal this causes. 
4. A Date with Darkness Podcast – The Love Junkie: Understanding Love Addiction, Intimacy Disorders, and Sexual Anorexia, featuring Shena Tubbs, LPC – A Date With Darkness Podcast is hosted by Dr. Natalie Jones, Psyd., LPCC, a licensed psychotherapist in Oakland and Sacramento CA. Join Dr. Jones for an intimate discussion about the effects of abuse dynamics and healing from relationship trauma.
   Shena Tubbs, LPC, CSAT-C, trauma recovery coach, host of the Love Junkie podcast, and owner of Black Girls Heal in Houston, TX joins us today to discuss love addiction, problems with intimacy, and sexual anorexia. Shena Tubbs specializes in working with African American women and helping them understand how their early childhood experiences have shaped their ideas about love, intimacy, and sex.
5. Secret Life Podcast – Episode 137: I’m a sex and love addict and I struggle with sexual anorexia – Ruby shares her story of struggle and hope as she overcomes anorexia, sex and love addiction, and fear of intimacy. Listen as she shares her journey through twelve step programs, therapy and support from family and friends. Gain insight into her challenges and victories as she opens up to discuss her experiences and share her wisdom. Ruby’s story will inspire you to face your own challenges and find the courage to heal.
6. Sex Addicts Recovery Podcast – Episode 20: Deb W. Shares about Intimacy Avoidance – Sex addiction is often described as an intimacy disorder. Sexual anorexia,  intimacy avoidance, or “sexually acting in” can be seen as the flip side of “sexually acting out”.  Join us in this episode as Deb W shares her experience, strength & hope around Intimacy and Sexual Avoidance as well as ISA awareness and helping SAA telemeetings move to Zoom.
7. Beyond Theory Podcast – Season 1 Episode 8: Dr. Stefanie Carnes on the Impact of Intimacy Issues – Meadows Senior Fellow Dr. Stefanie Carnes joins host David Condos for the conclusion of their two-part conversation. In this episode, she unpacks how intimacy issues develop, how sex addiction hurts partners and families, and how everyone involved can find healing.
8. Fit for Joy Podcast – Intimacy Anorexia: A Hidden Addiction – Intimacy is a hugely important part of human life. Intimacy allows us to develop deep connections with other people, and can significantly enhance and propel our relationships forward.
   Unfortunately, not everyone is able to easily develop intimate relationships with people. Those who have extreme difficulty maintaining or experiencing intimacy may have a condition known as intimacy anorexia. In this episode, we’re going to discuss intimacy anorexia, its potential causes, and some treatments. Intimacy is key for a happy lifetime and as a holistic coach, Michael Roth helps people to address any causes, triggers, or issues that arise in the entire mind-body system by fully acknowledging and addressing the problem.
9. Beyond Theory Podcast – Season 4 Episode 20: Patrick Carnes on Sex Addiction – Technology’s purpose is to improve the quality of life for humanity. But unfortunately, in many ways, it has provided unintended consequences, for example, serving as stimuli for sex addiction. Dr. Patrick Carnes says that as technologies evolve, we must remain vigilant about this issue, especially when it comes to adolescents. But can vigilance and treatment practices evolve just as rapidly as technology?
10. Love and Sex Today W/ Dr. Doug Weiss – Married and Alone – Intimacy Anorexia – EP3 – Welcome to “Love and Sex Today.” I’m Dr. Doug Weiss, and today in volume three we will be discussing “Married and Alone and Intimacy Anorexia.” Now, if you feel married and alone, you’re going to want to listen to this podcast or read this transcript for sure. If you’re feeling unwanted or disconnected, if you feel starved in your marriage, if you feel like you have to beg to be praised, to be touched, to be wanted, if you feel like you are more of a roommate than a lover, you’re probably married to someone who has Intimacy Anorexia.
11. The Shoot your Shot Podcast – Sexual Anorexia –  C. Diddy (@cdiddy513) & Steph (@bobeaubreaux) discuss mental health of the younger homies, sexual anorexia, Valentine’s Day & the expectations for men & women on this day & much more on this episode.